Be Here Now.

Be here now, its such a simple statement yet so profoundly difficult.

Even now trying to focus on this blog i am distracted by virtual notifications telling me my attention should temporarily be else where.

I remember growing up, having the internet was a rich persons luxury. I would go to my friends to spend a few hours on MSN- it was like a whole different exciting gateway! Dreaming of the day id be privileged enough to have such an exciting luxury, it seemed like a far off dream! Now it is so dispensable i barely notice i am using it half the time.

Growing up i was blessed with parents who loved the outdoors, we didn’t have alot of money so caravan holidays to Wales or a day out at the park exploring trees and finding rope swings was a real treat!

Now i find myself walking through parks, being virtually elsewhere. Scrolling through things that mean absoutley nothing to me, like a crack head getting a fix from a virtual high.

Like a lucid dream, I waste the days on earth living a virtual reality…these days that could be spent exploring, socialising, helping others, speaking to family, making real time memories are instead spent on a social media investing in other peoples negitive emotions, negitive experiences, declining mental health and like a butterfly effect we are all knocking each other down, trying to build each other up.

Going out with friends isn’t the same anymore if one of you or both of you are social media users. Every moment has to be caught and shared- Conversations instead of being in person is a witty banter exchange on a status…even though you are sitting right next to each other. Pictures filtered to the point of being unrecognizable and i can say this because i do all these things and for no other reason than because this is a normality now-a-days. Like having breakfast in the morning, its almost so normal that its kind of abit weird if you don’t use/do it, right?

The world is so use to distracting us in investing our thoughts/time & enegry elsewhere we kind of lose our identity- we lose our time and without noticing it, we are losing our lives, slowly, day by day by not living in this real, amazing, natural world.

Be here now means putting down your phone, going off social media, cutting off those unimportant ties- limiting yourself to social media use and going outside or spending time with family, breathing in the outside air, seeing someone you haven’t seen in ages, laughing til your belly hurts and keeping those memories stored in your head, not in a status or a picture, but in that amazing machine called the brain- embracing those NOW moments, the smell of food while cooking, the colour of the sky while the sun is setting,speaking to strangers and not having to then share that conversation in a status for other peoples admiration, helping a chairty in secret, the look on your husband’s face when you tell him your going to have a social media restriction (i joke) all those moments that makes your soul ignite is so much deeper, so much more important than the purely cosmetic fix the vitual world has for you.

How many times has a friend been speaking to you and mid conversation you pick up your phone to read a notification or aimlessly scroll through social media? How deep can a friendship be if you are finding yourself wanting to be virtually elsewhere…these habits have to stop.

How many times have you found yourself on a complete strangers instagram admiring the life they choose to share? then deciding to follow them because they decorate their house well or they have an amazing figure or good fashion sense! in real time, this would be called weird, stalking, not socially acceptable, but on social media its completely normal behaviour- this is not okay.

How many times have you decided to do something completely ‘For the gram’ or in other words, acted differently so a world full of strangers would see this alter ego you portray and accept you? Why is acceptance off strangers okay but close friendships can’t be obtained because you can’t stay off your phone longer than 5 minutes to have a real time conversation and be completey real for a moment.

In a world full of shallow nobody’s, be a deep somebody to an important few who get to know the real you on the daily.

Invest your time wisely.

Embrace moments deeply.

Feed your soul daily.

Have real moments continuously.

Be here now.

10 things I’ve realised since having a boy 💙

Boys! One thing i never envisioned was being a momma to a boy.

Whenever I glanced at my future I’d see barbies, rainbows, unicorns & doll house’s- the future was girly, the future was pink!

So when the ultrasound practitioner told me she defiantly saw a proud boy part floating about, I felt a little lost!

Sounds awful I know, I should just be happy to have a healthy bundle of baby in there…but when you have spent the last 25 years of your existence convincing yourself you’d be a momma to a girl, it took a little adjustment to detach myself from that idea.

But Boy, OH BOY!! it was the life adjustment I needed!

Life became messy, chaotic, smelly yet wonderful all at the same time.

The chaos was beautiful.

The pink girly things had taken a back burner and been replaced by dirt, toilet jokes and trucks.

And i have loved and still love every moment of it.

So, Here are: 10 things I’ve realised since having a boy 💙

1. Fart jokes, fart sounds, anything fart related=Winner. I mean, you are probably use to that with your partner/husband anyway…but there is something so much cuter about it when your little bundle of gas…I mean Joy finds it funny too! Civilised Sunday roast chit chat is replaced by fart jokes and sounds and you wonder if you’ll ever be allowed to eat out in public again.

2.You’ll probably spend the next 20 years of your life toliet training them. When we first decorated the downstairs toliet it looked awesome! Andy decided this was going to be the man’s toliet- no women allowed (which was fine by me, one less thing to clean!) It was decorated with super hero’s and the floor was all newly set down. Fast forward 2 weeks later….how do you get wee on the walls?? How is their wee on the floor behind the toliet? How had it removed some of the paint off the wall 😶 the room slowly became a hazard zone of toxicity- one I refused to set foot in on my own accord. When I questioned Ollie about it his simple reply was- ” OH Yeah, I missed the toliet!” Cheers, son! ( Don’t worry- it has been cleaned and sterilized since 😏)

3. Imaginary game play involves alot of explosions and fighting. When my son plays- he goes IN THE ZONE! There is no phasing him out! Bouncing around like a lunatic with his toy of choice close to his face followed by an array of explosive sounds and shouts! Everything becomes an action movie and he is the leading role.

4. Say goodbye to your new sofa. I am sure this doesn’t matter what sex they are- but the sofa becomes the most fun accessory to destroy! If it isnt jumping from chair to chair, it’s making a secret fort where “No Girls Allowed” is proudly shouted from inside. I remember when my mum use to say ‘I can’t have nice things!’ I relate to that now.

5.Fighting with Daddy before bed time is the normal way to wind down and it normally ends in tears! Usually it’s the dad crying as your son graces his teeth with an accidental headbutt or a mini dig to the crown jewels & a very angry momma watching over, shouting “I TOLD YOU NOT TO WIND HIM UP!”

6. Mom’s the word. If it’s time to play or be wild, that’s when daddy takes control. If it’s time to wind down, get cuddles or your little one is feeling poorly sick, that’s when mummy takes control. A mothers love for her child is indescribable, a sons love for his mum is irreplaceable.

7.Holey Moly- another new pair of pants! Victory slides, jumping out of trees, rough rugby tackles, all a recipe for a ripped pair of jeans, normally around the knee area and don’t even bother trying to remove grass stains- it’s time and effort wasted, believe me.

8.When I grow up I want to be __________ insert superhero name here. Dreams of becoming a policeman, fireman or any typical human job is replaced by a superhero title and everything needs to be hulksmashed into action. Place being robbed? Hulksmash. Robber getting away? Hulksmash. Daddy hogging the biscuit tin? HULKSMASH!

9.Going out for the day clean and presentable, returning feral & exhausted. It can’t be just me who tries to have a nice day out as a family and spend half the time shouting “No Oliver don’t do that!” “NO,OLIVER! DON’T JUMP IN THE PUDDLE!” “NO OLIVER, I DON’T THINK THAT’S MUD!” FYI, When i was talking about the exhausted and feral part, i was referring to myself.

10. Your organised, girly world will be turned upside down & there’s no other way it should be. Life became a little more hectic and disorganised when I became a mummy to a boy! I had to become a little more relaxed, allow a little more mess and alot more laughter. Dirt, disorder & funny sounds became a part of life & filled a heart shaped void I never knew I needed.

It was something I couldnt imagine being and now something I couldn’t imagine being without.

Signed: Mum to a boy since 2012.

https://www.facebook.com/10pointpixelmama/

**Disclaimer- this is based on my own personal experience, which will differ from each individual person & is a subjective truth based on my own personal experience**

10 signs your child is being raised by Dantdm instead of you.

Recently I was sitting with my son and listening to him while he ran a commentary on a game he was playing. I was really impressed by his witty remarks and childish banter and grinned proudly as I admired how well I had brought him up. He is sure going to be on stage one day, I thought to myself.

But as I listened more, I started to realise he was using phrases me and his Dad don’t normally say, not that i was aware of anyway. “OH JEEZ!” he proclaimed! “The creepiness intensifies!” I looked at him and laughed! “Where have you heard that, Ollie?” Without a hesitation he answered “Dan TDM”

I’ve heard once before that the person who you spend most time with you naturally start picking up there traits, from gestures to sayings….then it dawned on me- my Son was being raised by Dan TDM!

I tried to justify it in my head. ‘I’ve just had another child” I thought to myself. ‘His Dad works away weekdays, it’s okay for him to have a virtual surrogate!’ ‘No Sophie, you monster! That is such a weird thought!’ Even the thoughts in my head were not letting me get out of it that easierly.

And then it hit me like a ton of Minecraft blocks- all the;

“Mum, can I dye my hair blue?” To the “Mum, I want to be a Gamer when I grow up!” Yes, the more blatant remark.

Id handed over parenting rights to a 27 year old stranger id never met called Daniel Middleton- aka Dan TDM.

I felt ashamed, a little bit guilty, but I feel I may not be the only parent who sometimes need an outlet, you know the “Mum! I’m bored! Can I watch some YouTube?!” And while you’re upto your eyeballs in baby poop and reflux just snap back “Yes! Go on then!”

I mean it could be worse! He went through a phase of watching annoying orange, that tiny orange diesease- I would rather listen to someone clawing their nails down a chalk board on a loop than to that rancid fruit.

So here are the 10 signs your child is being brought up by Dan TDM. Pay attention- the signs are subtle 😂 ( They really aren’t)

1) Your 5 year old suddenly wants to play jelly bean roulette. But he/she already knows all the bad and good flavours! (AVOID THE RED BEAN AT ALL COSTS)

2) After no interest in animals, suddenly He/she wants to adopt a pug.

3) The name Trayaurus is a perfectly acceptable name to call any new toy, animal or new brother or sister.

4) Everything scary in life involves the phrase “Jump scare!”

5) He/she wants to sport a flippy fringe and dye it blue or purple.

6) There is no need to purchase any new games! As your child has probably already watched Dan DTM play them.

7) Any imaginary game they play is called “Hello Neighbour” (basically it’s the new hide and seek game, before the neighbour- the person looking for you, appears from nowhere and scares the living crap out of you)

8) JEEZ, Oh JEEZ, JEEZ jeez jeez jeez is used on the daily while playing any sort of game.

9) All games played cannot be played silently, witty remarks followed by “OH that was a fail” when something goes wrong will be said on the daily!

10) No, your child is not saying “Park Whore” like i thought mine was. Apparently ‘parkour’ is an activity where you jump from wall to wall without killing yourself and is now considered a sport! Also,used alot in DanTDM games.

So there are the 10 signs.

To be honest- i really like DanTDM. I found myself the other night watching him and his Wife Jemma go to Disney land last year and it wasn’t prompted by my son ( he was asleep in bed)

Most of his games are child friendly and he tries to keep most, if not all, his videos for a child’s age range!

I can’t say either that I will stop my son watching them when I am busy, but I do realise that more time should be spent in the real world with him and not virtually.

We are all guilty of lazy parenting at times! But like i say, it could be worse! Your Child could be in the annoying orange phase- that’s when you know you have really messed up 😉